'It's about who we are that's important': Emrys shares their experiences on International Non-Binary Person's Day
Today (14 July) is International Non-Binary People’s Day, which aims to celebrate people across the globe who identify as non-binary.
Non-binary is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity doesn’t sit comfortably with ‘man’ or ‘woman’, but is used for those who identify with some aspects of both or who reject these identities entirely. People identifying as non-binary can feel their gender identity and experience involves being both a man and a woman, or that it is fluid, in between, or completely outside of that binary.
Emrys Henderson, Community Palliative and End of Life Facilitator at UHDB, came out as non-binary in 2020, and has shared their experiences as well as some useful hints to help people step up as an ally to those identifying as non-binary.
“I think a lot of my gender identity can be explained by being surrounded by girls when I was a child and I remember thinking that when you grow up and decide you want to have children, one person decides to be the boy and that’s what I’ll do when the time comes.
“But as I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realise that it’s not about those roles we typically associate with men or women, it’s about how society views people in these very rigid categories.”
Emrys explained that they see non-binary as their identity as a person rather than being solely about their gender identity or expression or sexual orientation.
They explained: “I’m very aware that I have a feminine physique and dress in feminine clothing, so it can sometimes be hard for people to understand that I’m not going be androgynous. It’s not about biology for me, but it’s about who we are as people that’s important. There’s such a broad spectrum in life so I think it’s unfair to put people in such rigidly defined categories. 
“Not all people who have a beard are men, and not all people with more amounts of breast tissue are women which can be difficult for some people to understand it as it does challenge engrained societal norms. But I am always happy to speak to people about this who are eager to learn to help everyone feel more included and accepted for who they are.”
There are many things we can all do in our daily lives that can help us make those identifying as non-binary feel more welcomed, such as displaying and asking others for their pronouns, using gender neutral terminology and taking time to understand why someone else’s experiences are different from your own. Emrys was also keen to thank colleagues at UHDB who have been able to help and support them over the last few years.
Emrys added: “It’s a very personal thing and is influenced by how people understand the world, and everyone’s experiences are different so it’s important we have these conversations with people so we understand how everyone feels and wants to be seen.
“We also need to improve how we educate people on why we use certain pronouns and what this means to those using them and why it’s important. If people understand more about these things, I think it will go a long way to helping non-binary people feel more accepted and welcomed.
“I have reached out for help and support and colleagues have been great at providing this, and when they haven’t known the information, they have been eager learn and find it out and to help me, so I’m really appreciative of this.”
How you can get involved with the UHDB Pride Network
If you would like to find out more about our Pride Network and join the mailing list to receive events and meeting updates, or to request a rainbow lanyard displaying your pronouns, please email: uhdb.lgbtqia@nhs.net
You don’t have to identify as LGBTQIA+ to be a part of the Network – all allies are welcome to help shape our journey.
You can also follow our Pride Network on Twitter here (opens in new window)